Well here goes. as a preface this is now part 1 of a multi part story 6 weeks ago i finally gave up the ghost and went on anti-depressants.
the last 18 months had finally caught up with me, my defenses were
gone, my patience was gone, my capacious storehouse for anger was
apparently full and the anger was getting harder to rein in. All this may seem ungrateful when you consider i've got a loving wife,
gorgeous boy, cute dog, good job and some good friends and it probably
is but that didn't stop it being the way i felt. Maybe as they say sometimes the hardest part of any journey is the
first step as it seemed like as soon as i'd gone to the doctors that i
seemed to get better almost instantly despite the fact the pills
'couldn't work' in less than 2 weeks. the anger was still there and i needed to get it out, to figure out a
way, but it was more controllable. i was calmer, more stable and felt
a little more like a me i recognized. One book i had been reading suggested that to get it out the answer
was writing letters to the people who i believed had wronged me and
that was my plan but God had something else in mind it seems. So how to explain this, i'm still taking the pills and the next post
(which is so long i will have to split it) will explain a lot more
about my state of mind at this current moment in time, but i wanted
not to miss out this post, i wanted to be honest and say that if
you've seen me acting like Marvin the paranoid android ("here i am
brain the size of a planet and they ask me to pick up a piece of
paper") i apologise and hopefully you'll see a change in me and i
wanted to say that as amazing as this may sound getting help can be
helpful. who knew? stay tuned this week for the beast that is the multi part post "I
dreamed a dream - horrible title, great day" :
the last 18 months had finally caught up with me, my defenses were
gone, my patience was gone, my capacious storehouse for anger was
apparently full and the anger was getting harder to rein in. All this may seem ungrateful when you consider i've got a loving wife,
gorgeous boy, cute dog, good job and some good friends and it probably
is but that didn't stop it being the way i felt. Maybe as they say sometimes the hardest part of any journey is the
first step as it seemed like as soon as i'd gone to the doctors that i
seemed to get better almost instantly despite the fact the pills
'couldn't work' in less than 2 weeks. the anger was still there and i needed to get it out, to figure out a
way, but it was more controllable. i was calmer, more stable and felt
a little more like a me i recognized. One book i had been reading suggested that to get it out the answer
was writing letters to the people who i believed had wronged me and
that was my plan but God had something else in mind it seems. So how to explain this, i'm still taking the pills and the next post
(which is so long i will have to split it) will explain a lot more
about my state of mind at this current moment in time, but i wanted
not to miss out this post, i wanted to be honest and say that if
you've seen me acting like Marvin the paranoid android ("here i am
brain the size of a planet and they ask me to pick up a piece of
paper") i apologise and hopefully you'll see a change in me and i
wanted to say that as amazing as this may sound getting help can be
helpful. who knew? stay tuned this week for the beast that is the multi part post "I
dreamed a dream - horrible title, great day" :
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